why I have a gold pendant of my middle name rather than my first...
Ever since I was little, I have a tomboy vibe to me. I had the skater, rock and roll vibe going for me throughout elementary school... inspired by my moms obsession for Guns 'n' Roses. During recess, I played handball and literally destroyed every boy on the court-- one by one. On some of my off days as a Handball Champion, I would literally play in the dirt. My friend Fisher and I were certified paleontologists and we swore up and down our grass yard was covering a huge T-Rex skeleton. I came back from recess and lunch... filthy. I definitely had my fair share of 'girlfriends' but I thought I was so badass when I was 'one of the guys'.
As much as I felt comfortable being a messy and sweaty tomboy. The one thing I felt made me the most out of place was my name.
Noah. I never understood how a name defines your gender until 4th grade. It was the first day of school and my teacher was calling attendance. "Jack? Here. Brittany? Here. Audrey? Here. Noah? Here!" .... A long awkward pause fell over the room as if I had just yelled that the government is a scam. She starred at me for so long I felt like I should have said "Oops I thought you said Nora! Sorry." But no. My name is Noah. Yes, it can be assumed as a boy name through these things we like to call gender norms. But it's not. I am girl. That first time realizing my name is 'different' from others bothered me so much. I remember wanting to change my name from Noah to Nikki. Which I attempted to do... for example, I used to write 'Nikki' on the name line as if I could change my government name that easily. Silly me. My teacher would hand back the homework with a big mark through 'Nikki' and wrote 'Noah' as if that was so helpful for me. (If you can't tell, my 4th grade teacher was not my favorite...)
As I grew up with the name Noah, I would always get the "Oh, wow that name is so unique!" or "What made your mom choose that name?" or "Oh! Like the white guy who took some animals on a boat in the Bible, right?" Through these encounters, I have learned to shrug the weird and almost offensive comments off. Especially when I got to UO. Having to introduce myself to so many new faces was one thing, having to deal with the different reactions was another. It was not until my freshman year of college where I really started to get over it. I found that repeating my name over and over again to different people was normal and my name is never going to change.
When I decided to save up for a name pendant however, I knew I wanted my middle name. Everyone does their first names in their pendants and I felt like I wanted to break those rules. Along with the childhood memories held with my first name, I thought 'Rianni' was a nice shift from constantly hearing how 'Noah' was so taboo. While I have learned to love my first name, I think having my middle name is both unique and a conversation starter. People will ask what my name is but then see a different name on my necklace and wonder why and Boom--A conversation has begun.
